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Why I disappeared …
My life changed upside down since a little human being grew in me 🤰🏾
For the first three months, it was a blur (actually the months after as well) 🙈
From feeling dizzy to a point that I couldn’t not make a stop between my bed to the living room to rest out, to passing out and throwing up on the subway (Gross I know. Thanks God for the strong and kind gentleman who grabbed my arm and escorted me off the train and put me on a chair on the platform. He was kind enough to fetch help for me too). And I struggled with a minor case of prenatal depression.
Between prenatal yoga, checkups, preparing the arrival of my very special one, reading baby center religiously (btw, best SEO ever. Impressive feature snippet. Always the answer!), still trying to be useful at work, I made it through!!
A little bit a year ago, when I was finishing work (around 2 more weeks to go till my starting of Mat leave). I booked a hair that evening as I knew I wouldn’t be able to do so after delivery. I went into the bathroom (which is situated outside of the office). I heard a plop sound. It immediately registered the article I was reading on baby Center about water breaking. The pinkness also further confirmed my gut feeling. It wasn’t like in the movies, a hush of water dropped. It was just dripping). I did not panic at all. I was the calmest in my life. My first instinct was to call my better half about it so I planned to go into the office to get my phone. At the door, I saw my colleague so I asked her to help me bring my phone. Her face just got pale after hearing that I water broke.
The team assembly at the bathroom
3 minutes later, the whole team came into the bathroom with more pale faces, asking if I need to be sent to the hospital. I was unprecedentedly calm. I just called my better half and let him know that my water broke. Probably the doctor kept saying it’d be a long labour for first timers, at least 48 minutes and I thought I had time. So we arranged to meet at home. Then my hair dresser messaged me asking where I was. I told him that my water broke. Moments later, my friend texted me asking if my water broke. Apparently she was at our hair dresser when I sent the message. News travelled fast 😝
Gone is a puff
So I went back to the office and packed up my computer (my other colleague who had an early delivery didn’t pack her computer. She came back to the office 6 days with baby to pick up hers after a C section. Super woman. Not recommended). My colleague offered to take the taxi with me.
Last supper & shower 🚿
When I arrived, dinner was ready. No contraction at all. I thought of unripe mango could trigger labour. Oh, how I missed Thai mango salad!! So we even ordered mango salad take away. I was so sure that I wouldn’t be able to wash my hair for a long time (Chinese postpartum confinement practice) so I took a shower wand washed my hair. Luckily, a friend told me to pack my hospital bag a month in advance. I did. I packed it in a longchamp bag and was about to transfer to a small suitcase. Anyway, I got it handy.
Highway to birth
We even watched TV for a while till I got a bit worried since I hadn’t felt a kick for a while. So we proceed to go to the hospital.
The mini drama began. When I registered to be admitted, the nurse got super nervous and a bit furious (sorry, I didn’t remember the note not the booklet. Proceed to the hospital once water breaks). She checked me in immediately. Ultra sound by the doctor on duty – same response “why did you wait so long?”. “Since you are over 34 weeks, we’ll kick start the birth. We’ll monitor you for 20 minutes. We’ll induce you. If after 24 hours, you are still not ready for natural birth, we’ll proceed to C section”. Omg! All my biggest fear surfaced. We’ll, three of my friends who gave birth not too long ago experienced what the called the full package – induction for 24 long hours and c section, pain for the next 2 weeks) my mind flew miles away.
La La La Labour
Before I knew it, we were already dressed in purple and in the labour room. I was hooked to two heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor, got a needle purged in my vein so the induction drug can be drug in directly. The nurses were super nice and helpful. All of our final preparations (like watching YouTube on birth ball exercises) were planned for the upcoming public holiday so I asked the nurse if I could use the ball. Having full confident of my yoga and prenatal yoga would pay off. I sat on the ball and started moving back and forth as instructed.
The magic 20
The contraction monitor was showing some figures and I wasn’t quite feeling it. The nurse said it was a good sign and I should wait a little and she would come back in 20 minutes and check on me again. She came back in 20 minutes as promised and my contraction grew stronger. The nurse said it was a good sign so I should wait a bit longer and she would check on me in 20 minutes again. She hooked me up with TENS and offered the laughing gas. Oh, man! Laughing gas doesn’t make you laugh. It makes your drowsy. The pain got more intense . Whenever the contraction came, TENS was on and I inhaled some laughing gas. Actually my partner in birth had full control of TENS and turned it on whenever the contraction figures went up. A true professional😝
Epidural or no epidural, that’s the question
I couldn’t sit on the ball any more due to the effect of laughing gas. I laid on the bed again. I made myself promise that I wouldn’t go for epidural unless I absolutely couldn’t bare the pain. I was almost out of breath and in tears when the contraction hit. So I asked for epidural (I Hesse’s horror stories that sometimes if it’s busy or too late, epidural wouldn’t be available). Nurse came and said it’s take an hour until it could be administered. I was thinking, what!! Another long whole hour? But before they could start requesting, an examination is needed.
The commotion started…
The kind nurse went in and conduct the examination and exclaimed “you don’t need epidural!” Apparently, I was ready to deliver. I was asked to hold when the whole room came into motion, setting up the labour bed and all other prep work. All done in less than 3 minutes. Nurse also warned me that the little one could come out a little while pushing but went back in afterwards. My mind was a blur and it was way passed my bed time. I just had the uncontrollable feeling of having too poo when the contraction hit. After about 20 minutes (2 or 3 major contraction and pushing), my precious little one’s head was out and two more push, she was totally out! I felt as if I was in a dream. What happened to the wait 24 hours and decide if surgery is needed?! I didn’t even feel the cutting of the umbilical cord. And the much-awaited for skin to skin( a term I heard over a million times during all prenatal or even postpartum class). She didn’t find the source of milk immediately. I was so swamped with love and the miracle of life 😊
The next coming months were definitely a blur with serious deprive of sleep 😴
6 months later. I’m back to work, a new role and a new industry, still in digital but faster pace. Pumping through work and business travels.
I’m back at having my busy fingers typing my blog again 😊