Ring in the new year! Meh!!!
A few things I learnt today:
1. Most of the excursions started before 8:30 in Hulhumale
2. Club Med Kani is a nice resorts, probably one of the nicest. However, one way transfer costs about US$200 so for the round trip alone is enough for me to have a small getaway to a nearby country. So I could only hope, in due time, I’ll feel comfortable to afford it. (Definitely not now)
3. Friday is the rest day for Maldives. Offices are closed. Ferry to Malé doesn’t run until 1:30pm
It seemed like i ran out of options when i reached the lobby by 8:50am, still dirty (the hot water wasn’t working in the room and I went to bed leaving sea water in my hair. Frustrated, I talked to my new travel mate, who was even more frustrated because the revolutionist forgot to book her diving trip, her sole purpose here. Running out of the normal options turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
We decided to go and Chillax at the nearby beach till the ferry ran and ventured into the city and toured around.
The Hulhumale beach is just stunning with clear water sectioned into difference colors thanks to the difference in depth. The view itself cleanse your mind and soul.
It’s a no bikini beach. So we had to wear shorts and t shirt on top of our bikinis. I didn’t expect to do snorkelling but my friend brought her own set and her fins. So I bumped up my courage and had a try. My first try wasn’t that successful due to my poor swimming skills and the corals were quite sharp and I barely stood. I returned quickly and buried myself into the world of Robert Langdon.
My friend came back from another dip in the water and encouraged me to use the fin and try again. This time was a lot better. I couldn’t quite control the fin but it floated. I could stand after first falling. I managed to see some fish. Well done me!
Tanning with my t shirt and shorts on weren’t too bad. I still managed to get some color and read my book. Slightly difference from what I envisioned – tanning in my bikini with a cold beer in one hand and a good book on the other. Did I also mention that alcohol was prohibited in the whole Hulhumale Island? Detox!
So we went back to the hotel and take a shower in out soaking wet attire. The second cold shower I had this trip. I couldn’t stand but wash my hair with the cold water. Quite an experience actually.
We took the bus to the pier (N2 – neighbourhood 2 to ferry). We waited for about 10 minutes at the bus stop along with a local family. The people here are so nice and kind.
At the pier, we just missed one ferry. A putter group of tourists (a mixed group of Chinese and german students) laughed at our disappointed looks. I overheard they spoke mandarin together. I must say I’m impressed. The Chinese guy spoke conversational mandarin to the other two white guys I. A reasonably normal speed. The two guys totally understood. One of the guys held the door for us and spoke something in Chinese. I retuned with a “xiexie”. When we took photos outside of the ferry. The same guy yelled “kuai dian Er!” (hurry!) obviously teasing our photo taking. When I walked past them, I said in Chinese “I speak Chinese too” as a return to their teasing. Too bad that we sat too far away and they went on to a taxi right after the ferry so we didn’t talk.
Apart from normal passengers, bikers with their motorbikes got on the ferry too.
With the idea “Malé is one of the most disappointing cities in the world” in mind, I had zero expectation. There was a guy outside of the pier asking for money scared me a little. Many of the restaurants looked dark and dodgy with only male patrons. We just walked and tried to go to a restaurant for lunch. After a few turns and asking the way, we stumbled upon a nice outdoor restaurant overlooking the artificial beach. Yay! One tourist attraction hit! Free wifi at the restaurant. We googled hard immediately on what to eat and where to go.
We tried the signature dish in the restaurant ( Blue thunder), which is a sandwich with meat and melted cheese.
With big urge of trying out local food, we picked two more Sri Lanka dish – Devilled Prawn (a spicy version of sweet & sour prawn) and kothu roti (similar to Indonesian stirred fried fat noodles with meat). They are really tasty with strong favours. We were the only female patrons there and other male patrons just stared at us.
My sense of direction was just bad. We were supposed to be 1 minute away from the friday mosque but we couldn’t find it. Instead we walked all the way to the tsunami memorial statue. The sea view along the wall was breath-taking. You could take photo from
All angles and they all look good.
There were surfers too, surfing in the city centre.
We also stopped by having a coconut. When we asked for a spoon to pick the inside. The seller just cut the coconut in halves and slide a small portion of the skin and asked us to use it as a spoon. It worked! How smart!
With views like this, who needs fancy dinning tables?
Somehow, I was still under the impression that we could find a mall to walk around with restaurants and clean toilets. We asked the way again and the guy seemed puzzled. It couldn’t be good. We followed his direction and found ourselves slowly moving to the shopping area.
The color cloth shop fascinated us. Touching the different fabric and imaging how there fabric can mix together to build beautiful clothes was nostalgic and new in a way. It reminded me of my mom bringing me to cloth shops back in mainland China when I was little and buying cloth to make clothes for me; new in a way was that I was never that close to so many different fabric and textures and colors.
After a few turns, we finally found the shopping street where we were supposed to go. It’s a lot busier than any others streets and festive. When we finally decided to walk back to the pier, we found the mosque. We were really close indeed. And we found an outdoor restaurant for an early and light dinner. To our great surprise, there were many other female patrons there and mixed tables of male and female. That was actually new to us in Malé. Our meal was delightful with a mix of spicy Thai salad and a calming spaghetti cabanara, finally something not spicy.
That concluded our relaxing day with a combination of beach and touring.
My friend’s divorce came as a shock to me. They were happily married for almost 5 years (at least on social media). I heard this from a visiting friend and he called it quit. To skip the story, just scroll down.
Here’s the story – I met her all those years ago while we were partying hard, very typical at a drunk bathroom talk. Both of us were looking for a perfect boyfriend in the hopeless place (Alright, I’m not that young. The song hasn’t come out yet, even though we had seriously self-esteem problem, ridiculously high requirement for a boyfriend and absolutely no money. We went out, got drunk, drunkenly hooked up with someone and felt shameful the day after. It was a vicious circulation. You were desperate and you went out drinking. The more you drank, the least likely you would land on someone remotely nice. We went through some very dark, depressed and self destructing phrase. We were in bad places.
She is a very nice person. She and I both moved on and randomly connected on social media. She introduced me to a way to meet new people, instead of trying our luck in the meat market, aka, the clubs. Soon after, she landed on a jet pot. She found him, a fresh of boat expat, who ticked all her boxes. They were Happy and compatible – he made jokes and she laughed; he was loud and she never seemed to mind or feel remotely embarrassed. Their happiness was contagious as well. She become more gracefully, organising big parties and always out and about with a big entourage. I was invited to a few parties and met their friends. She had to leave for a year. I still remember that at her farewell party, a few of the ‘girlfriends’ remarked, they wouldn’t survive the long distance. However, they proved the girls wrong. They survive and came even stronger together. There was a big ass welcome-back party and everyone was there. After 3-4 years of comfortable (at least on the outside) live-in relationship, they tied the knot with an extravaganza wedding. She was a lady of leisure and a stay-in housewife after the wedding. They travelled to places and even kept a very cute dog. She showed her amazing cooking all the time.
What went wrong? There are always the girl’s version and the guy’s version. It took 2 to tango but the guy version made sense to me. He was unhappy (guy’s version – he tried talking to her but she never listened). They wanted to have a baby and after a long period of trying the stress grew bigger. He wanted to go out and have fun with friends and she preferred to stay in. In the end, to the guy, it seemed all the marriage was about producing a cute mixed baby. With love wearing thin, he also wasn’t too pleased with the whole single income family thing with the wife enjoying the leisure life. He didn’t want to bring a kid to an unhappy marriage or wake up one day and realised he’s grown old and has wasted his time feeling miserable. He called it quit. Wise decision (I wouldn’t say it wasn’t cruel or sad).
Morale of the story?
– You can have a preference of a certain type, be it a race, a body type, an accent etc. However, it shouldn’t be your sole criteria for choosing a life partner. I have to admit at one point, I wanted to date a white guy partly because I wanted a mixed baby (Selfish gene + self pride). After a few years of experience (not voluntarily), I realised it’s all superficial and dumb. To top it up, Guys HATES this. They want to marry you because you are in love and he’s special to you, not because you can make a cute baby and feel good about it.
– Always have your own life no matter if you are single or in a relationship. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to stay together all the time and going out doesn’t make you bad. While trying to have a life together with shared moments and friends, have your own support system and be independent too. Everyone can have some freedom or a breather no and then. Don’t suffocate your relationship. Breathe!
– Be honest and financially independent. This is extremely hard for Asia ladies. First to be honest about your financial situation. You don’t need to count down to a single penny to our significant others. More often or not, some ladies tend to have some proud pretending to be more well off then they really are. Girls, don’t expect your men will pay for anything because they won’t, at least not always. Have your own job or your way of maintaining a healthy finance status. Guys dig it when you pay for them sometimes (not all the time, of course).
– A follow up point. Don’t assume guys always make more money than you. I’m sure you are not a gold digger but it’s hard not for Asian girl to expect that. It comes to a point on how much you fall for this person. Of course, if you smell something fishy, like he’s a feud or something, trust your instinct.
– Baby or not baby. A baby is a blessing. However, it’s not the only way to happy marriage. Relax! Don’t let the stress eat you. If it happens, it happens. There are many babies around the world needing loving parents. I used to have this nightmare that I would have stress getting pregnant after getting married. I was stressed by even thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong. I totally love babies. It’s just that I don’t want the stress to hurt the loving relationship.
– Bust your fantasy bubble. White are not always better. They are not always gentler, more romantic. The list goes on. I can’t deny that Asian girls might find average looking white guy hot and vice versa. It’s not about look always. In the end, it’s the whole of you, personality, look and timing etc. The yellow fever can get you the first few encounters, but as days go by, your true self will reveal. The worst is that there’s nothing beneath the beautiful appearance.
I once was a girl hoping to find a white boyfriend and turn him into a husband and a loving father with the cutest mixed baby. It didn’t turn out that way. I feel so that for my ex that he has to endued so much of my selfishness. I put so much pressure on this poor guy who loved me on marrying me.
Not that I’m superior or something, I’m just glad I learnt things the hard way and come to my current status of mind. Good luck all the girls out there hoping for love.
You might find love in the hopeless place. 😉